Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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