Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
