The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
me + whiskey = a bad person
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
