Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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