Nicole vs. Life
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
