i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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