Can i not drive my cunt home
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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