I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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