go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
where are my eyebrows?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
