loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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