Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
