I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
