I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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