I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
