Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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