giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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