Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
