I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
