Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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