he was CRYING into my vagina
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
