If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
