idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
honey bunches of taint.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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