Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We have started to decorate penises.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
