I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
