Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.

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  (248): Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too. http://tfl.nu/c23w
  Replies (9) Good night (2416) Bad night (812)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.

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  (734): i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left. http://tfl.nu/94x2
  Replies (19) Good night (9121) Bad night (709)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.

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  (509): My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that? (541): It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you. http://tfl.nu/ntpo
  Replies (15) Good night (827) Bad night (2459)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry

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  (309): dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry http://tfl.nu/gvg3
  Replies (20) Good night (584) Bad night (4473)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club

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  (214): And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club http://tfl.nu/ni5q
  Replies (19) Good night (991) Bad night (3396)
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  (631): View more from New York

  New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.

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  (631): New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled. http://tfl.nu/1807
  Replies (164) Good night (9150) Bad night (903)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

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  (609): ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! http://tfl.nu/wkf6
  Replies (13) Good night (5236) Bad night (685)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.

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  (337): Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/uobp
  Replies (17) Good night (3758) Bad night (910)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.

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  (425): I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class. http://tfl.nu/j3lm
  Replies (12) Good night (4407) Bad night (1143)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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  (859): So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form. http://tfl.nu/if3v
  Replies (14) Good night (4997) Bad night (2729)
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  (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

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  (707): I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!" http://tfl.nu/i1ig
  Replies (16) Good night (1235) Bad night (4301)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now

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  (519): My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now http://tfl.nu/86ra
  Replies (5) Good night (1933) Bad night (465)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.

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  (315): I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly. http://tfl.nu/59ai
  Replies (7) Good night (582) Bad night (360)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets

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  (678): just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets http://tfl.nu/dsve
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (237)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.

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  (501): If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you. http://tfl.nu/0j48
  Replies (0) Good night (487) Bad night (680)

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