Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you drinking alone?

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  no, i'm watching house

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  That doesn't count.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  wtf, then i'm always alone

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  (601): Are you drinking alone? (662): no, i'm watching house (601): That doesn't count. (662): wtf, then i'm always alone http://tfl.nu/bvid
  Replies (18) Good night (1026) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle

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  (678): why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning? (770): I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle http://tfl.nu/6kcj
  Replies (32) Good night (3693) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.

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  (608): Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker. http://tfl.nu/j5xk
  Replies (16) Good night (3918) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.

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  (814): I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups. http://tfl.nu/oj47
  Replies (13) Good night (3673) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.

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  (315): My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw. http://tfl.nu/z7bn
  Replies (10) Good night (3589) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees

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  (208): dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees http://tfl.nu/cqup
  Replies (7) Good night (985) Bad night (1642)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

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  (479): I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/32cb
  Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm just crazy horny about you

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  (215): I'm just crazy horny about you http://tfl.nu/n9zt
  Replies (11) Good night (1888) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.

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  (563): I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud. http://tfl.nu/0vsx
  Replies (9) Good night (1370) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question

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  (336): Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question http://tfl.nu/9vj8
  Replies (12) Good night (1587) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.

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  (661): Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre. http://tfl.nu/eizk
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (477): View more from

  I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me

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  (477): I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me http://tfl.nu/o2l0
  Replies (12) Good night (704) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.

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  (218): I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount. http://tfl.nu/edpp
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn

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  (424): I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn http://tfl.nu/bfkb
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..

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  (920): All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot.. http://tfl.nu/vftt
  Replies (4) Good night (231) Bad night (533)

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