I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
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I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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