Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.

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  (203): We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won. http://tfl.nu/1h1c
  Replies (39) Good night (9315) Bad night (1028)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.

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  (713): I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke. http://tfl.nu/gwfs
  Replies (14) Good night (5155) Bad night (793)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.

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  (573): I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/5d16
  Replies (31) Good night (1189) Bad night (3885)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"

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  (973): Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them" http://tfl.nu/9mkz
  Replies (3) Good night (2802) Bad night (847)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Your friend and I already don't get along

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  (404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend. (734): Your friend and I already don't get along http://tfl.nu/d3pe
  Replies (4) Good night (3530) Bad night (802)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.

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  (506): Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11. http://tfl.nu/fzyl
  Replies (3) Good night (2237) Bad night (574)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.

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  (401): The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm. http://tfl.nu/9ejj
  Replies (15) Good night (2549) Bad night (644)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever

  (509): View more from Washington

  but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid

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  (412): you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever (509): but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid http://tfl.nu/bu4c
  Replies (9) Good night (2444) Bad night (657)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.

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  (972): I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan. http://tfl.nu/tlw1
  Replies (14) Good night (645) Bad night (1764)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.

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  (541): I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend. http://tfl.nu/dn5d
  Replies (7) Good night (1316) Bad night (356)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.

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  (856): I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree. http://tfl.nu/ftwn
  Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (836)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.

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  (765): Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares. http://tfl.nu/7uu2
  Replies (4) Good night (941) Bad night (359)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.

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  (612): It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/k02r
  Replies (0) Good night (344) Bad night (261)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store

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  (407): If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store http://tfl.nu/imig
  Replies (7) Good night (1655) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good

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  (631): Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good http://tfl.nu/dysc
  Replies (1) Good night (826) Bad night (233)

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