Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
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You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
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We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up