And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
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That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
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Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.