And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
