discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
