Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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