U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
