Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
