oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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