okay pat passed out under dana's car
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
