I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
