new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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