think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
