So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
