i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
