My nipple is on Facebook.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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