Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
