My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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