Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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