Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
