Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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