Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We are two peas in an std pod
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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