And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
