are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
