I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
