It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
