We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
