I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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