Where did you get a picture of my penis
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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