so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
