I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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