Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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