i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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