ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
