he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
